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If Scottish Nationals get in that’ll be the end o’ hills

By blinds-made-to-measure, Apr 22 2017 12:45PM

A very concerned looking man stopped me on the street today saying, “If Scottish Nationals get in that’ll be the end o’ hills”. He was coming up that steep wee vennel between Laing Terrace and Princess Street (in Hawick). And he was looking a bit puffed out. I thought, “That’s odd. I don’t remember Nicola Sturgeon promising anything like that”. Wishful thinking on his part maybe and the dog looked a bit whacked too.

I said, “Would it?” Well, I didn’t know what else to say. I’m always in trouble at home for starting in the middle of a story. I was just glad to know I’m not the only one. Anyway, it seemed a bit ambitious as Scotland has more than its fair share of hills. It took them long enough to flatten the summit of the Dunion (where the beacons once blazed). And I wondered how it would affect whiskey and oil exports. Anyway, who’s going to buy shortbread in a tartan tin from a nation with no hills?

“Of course!” He snapped back indignantly as if I’d asked him to explain the elementary question of where babies come from, with the added audacity of requesting a running commentary of his own personal birth. “That’s what they want!” And off he barged tugging irritably at the pit-bull’s lead.

I was still standing confused conjuring up pictures of 50 + SNP MPs and God knows how many there are in that enormous matchbox that exploded at Hollyrood. They’d all have to be fully decked out in yellow hard-hats and high-vis vests (health and safety – don’t forget!) setting us all the mandatory politically correct example and heading towards Ben Nevis with Nicola leading a fleet of JCBs. (Might as well start at the top and work their way down, I suppose.)

Then he swung around with a wild look in his eye, which isn’t wise for a man of his age, “They’ll close it down and there’ll be nothing left but Ladbrokes.”

It dawned on me then that he was talking about bookies. I’ve never been the sharpest tool in the box, and never a gambler, but I was able to see the connection between William Hill and Ladbrokes.

That, at least was one mystery solved, but there’s another two questions I’m left still pondering: Firstly, why would the SNP “want” to close down William Hills and not Ladbrokes?

Secondly, and more importantly to me; I’ve never understood what kind of power “borrowing power” is. That’s the kind of power John Swinney said he wanted when a hack once asked him why he wanted devo-max some years back. It seems more than a bit oxymoronic to me. Powerful is not the word I’d use to describe my emotions as I go grovelling to a bank asking to borrow money (which I’ve always avoided like the plague BTW). My thoughts would be on what I’d need to do to pay it all back – with interest of course – to a world cartel that creates fiat money out of fresh air and uses its enormous yields to corrupt our parliamentary representatives and institutions against us.

Every morning when we get up to face the trials and tribulations we might ponder the words of Mayer Amschel Rothschild (1744-1812), founder of the House of Rothschild. "Let me issue and control a nation's money and I care not who writes the laws." (Hooray for t’internet.)

I bet he didn’t care. I bet he hadn’t a care in the world. And when will we ever learn I wonder? (That makes it three unanswered questions, I suppose.)

Oh! here’s another question: When detractors ask John McDonnell and Jeremy Corbyn where they’ll get the money to fund – what the establishment like to portray as over ambitious policies, why don’t they just say they’ll create it out of fresh air like the banks do? Would it have anything to do with the ‘deep state’/Military-Industrial Complex, perhaps? (That question was rhetorical, so it doesn’t count.)

I respect that we all have our concerns. Mine has never been about the fortunes or follies of bookies, but blithe acceptance of corporate putsches however artfully done isn’t just gambling; for many it’ll probably prove existential.

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photo credit: <a href="">Lawrence.Braun</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">cc</a>


photo credit: <a href="">AhmadHashim</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">cc</a>


photo credit: <a href="">Jill Clardy</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">cc</a>